I know I have been silent for a while...but I could no longer keep silent when I stumbled across this! This is my contribution to Sarah Bessey's synchroblog: What is saving your life right now?
*****
The truth is, I am flailing...barely getting by. I am awakening from a season of grief and depression and trying to put all the pieces back together. I am trying to figure out how to live (contently) in a city I don't want to live in, while I wait for the opportunity to leave. I am trying to get comfortable in a new skin that feels ill-fitting and unfamiliar. I am trying to navigate life without the ready-made friendships church has to offer. I am trying to craft a "normal" life now that I am outside of institutional church. So when the lovely Sarah Bessey asked this question, it caused some much needed reflection. I give myself permission to breathe. Permission to enjoy these simple things and not feel guilty because it doesn't feel productive, or purposeful. After all, they ARE saving my life.
What is saving my life right now?
 |
| Iced Coffee |
 |
Watching my kiddos play in their pool
|
 |
Searching endlessly for a new puppy on Petfinder
|
 |
| Jim Palmer's books & facebook writing |
 |
| The Walking Wounded Online Course |
 |
| Trying to live in the moment I am in...not the past and not the future |
 |
| Any of my shows on HBO |
And, I could never put all the pictures here, but what is truly saving my life right now is the "friends I've never met" from the internet. Thank you, friends.
I read your post thinking that you'd in some way heard my thought this morning. I have also been giving myself a lot of needed permission this season of my life. It is so important that we offer this gift to ourselves. I love how you embrace online community. Recently I've had the opportunity to meet some fellow writers in person showing me that they know me better than many in my daily life know me. It is special and very much "saving." I hope to read more from you and know you are welcome into my "nest" as I call it over on my new blog home. Thank you for being so honest and I hope that you felt a weight lift in the sharing.
ReplyDeleteAnd Pinterest! You should add Pinterest. If you have a Pinterest. And if you don't, here's a link to my funnies board that I turn to whenever I need to laugh at the world, instead of cry: http://pinterest.com/gracefulewe/the-best-medicine/. (Actually, this is the entire reason WHY I Pinterest: to laugh when I'm tired and worn down.)
ReplyDeleteBeautiful, as usual, Sophia. And you know we are connected by more than just our keyboards. We are connected by the one Spirit who dwells within us all ... and the prayers of those of us who are doing what we can to love you ... as we are loved.
ReplyDeleteLoved your list, Sophia. And Jim Palmer is a good place to be.
ReplyDeleteI really appreciated what you have to say. I am currently going through a similar journey after being verbally and emotionally coerced to leave my church denomination. There has been a growing influence of male-dominance due to the doctrine of Mark Driscoll and the Gospel Coalition. This meant that women who were formally teaching and ministering in the denomination came under relentless scrutiny. Those of us who believe that God equips both men and women for leadership ministry through the gifts of the Holy Spirit came under attack. I chose to leave rather than fight. I just couldn't stand the pressure any longer. I too am slowly coming to terms with where I am - no ministry and no institutional church. I have had seasons of doubt and despair. I have recently taken great comfort in Job's response to God as he came to terms with unwarranted suffering: "I know you can do all things and that no purpose of yours can be thwarted." Job 42:2 I have chosen to believe that this is true for my life today. God is capable of leading me, restoring me, keeping me and using me for His glory. I pray that you will find comfort and hope and believing this as well.
ReplyDelete